It’s Been a While (Again)

Hello fellow bloggers, friends and followers,

It’s surely been a while and I have to apologise for this! I’m sure some of you might’ve guessed why I’ve not been around: I’ve been far too lazy, been too busy, lived life for a bit, lacked a bit of inspiration etc.

Firstly, don’t lay your accusations aside, for all of the above is true. I’ve been all of those things, but most of all, it has been the lack of inspiration and motivation – even to write about my life! However, life has been very bleak. Life becomes bleak when you fall into a dark place over and over again. I even fell into a really dark place when I believed I had met someone to settle down with. But all those dark places are now being left behind, one by one in small steps.

So what have I really been up to aside from touring dark places?

Well, to be entirely honest, just floating through life, catching up with old friends, lulling around the thought of taking up a masters degree at a few universities. Although, that plan went down the drain as the darker places began to grow in size. So, in the meantime, I’m just working, saving up for a few things – a house even.

I’ve gotten my own place not far from family. I’ve learnt that having your own place can come with its pro’s and con’s. The biggest con is that I don’t like being on my own. It’s very quiet and to come home each day with no one to greet (that includes a pet), it becomes very lonely. I’m thinking about getting a pet, a cat maybe. Although, I would like a dog, it’s just that I live in a flat (apartment) and it wouldn’t be fair for the dog to not go out into a garden and have a little wonder round. Cats on the other hand, don’t really care so long as they’re fed and can destroy things.

I would like to keep it short,  I don’t want to dwell and bore you to death with my day-to-day doings (despite what my blog About page says) and bring it to a close.

I hope all of you are well and are enjoying the summer, whether you’re working, on holiday, off school, college, or universities. Stay safe and be kind to one another.

— Matt

Happy Monday

It’s Monday,
A great day…
For some;
If not,
None.

It’s casual Monday,
That’s my news for today;
Dinner’s cooking right now,
And I’ve been into town;
Gone to work,
A colleague made me smirk.

The weather’s nice for a Monday,
Well, that’s what most people say.
It’s a little bit windy,
A little bit sunny;
The weather knows what it’s doing,
And yet, my tea is still brewing.

What does Monday bring?
Maybe a diamond ring?
Perhaps a brand new swing?
Not really sure what tomorrow brings;
We are such curious little things.

What is the day today?
It’s Monday.
And the date?
I don’t know, sorry mate.

Well, today is Monday.

Happy Monday.

On’stavencor

Your heart was an empire,
Your words spread like fire,
Loss and belonging – you drowned,
The life we had – deep underground;
Those cold stone halls,
And the concrete walls,
Down they fell
Into the pits of hell.

O, you poor unfortunate soul.

Upon your wilting throne,
Your sad tales had grown,
More and more, and more,
Until my fragile mind
Could take no more;

O, how you mocked me.

Only your brood mattered.
I, broken and shattered,
Hung in your sullen dungeon,
While your brood bludgeoned;
My cursed and unsettling mind;
Your sodden secrets began to unwind.

Your essence was hard to trust;
It held out on a limb just for lust.

O, how greedy and foolish.

You feared the worst,
Still, your hips were cursed,
I was aware from the start
Underneath that crown,
You were still a rotten tart.

I felt violated,
My dignity ripped from me,
And everything that I knew and cherished,
Strewn across the floor,
My innards in a pool on the ground,
I, butchered from my gory demise;
I tumbled, I stumbled,
Every ache and every pain;
My bones cracked,
My heart stopped,
Breathing ceased,
And life flashed before my eyes.

There I lay, bewildered and agonised.
Time had stopped…

Completely.

I found myself in the realm of thought,
A time lapse of your merciless reign
Began to play;

Plot holes appeared,
Every doubt,
Every fear,
It all made sense.

The name, his name,
It was seen before,
Spat from the mouth of a whore,
Your pursed lips came:
His name, his name:

Foretold in latent tales,
And blown in from bloody sails;
Bolstered from the golden waste
In the repulsive rat race,
A cretin of your fathomless brood,
Now face deep in your mould.

But I shan’t stop here,
Not when freedom is near.

From the very depths of my broken weary heart,
There lies a light,
Beaming brighter,
Much brighter than the very stars,
Figures, figments,
No, angels from the shadows;
Their altruistic grace
Always present,
Always immaculate;
They are heroes and heroines,
My worthy peers,
My life, my friends,
My family.

And with them, I will rise.

You deemed me to suffer
After I dismissed you from my heart,
Back then, already occupied by a false paramour.

But it will not be me that is the one to suffer,
No, for I already see you quivering,
Wilting, shuddering and rotting under that Arian mask,
You are broken, far more broken,
Losses and betrayals,
They’ve turned you into a hethan,
A hussy, a liar, a polished up trollop,
You are scared and frightened,
You are nothing but a virtual entity
That cannot defy the cruel and harsh reality
Of this much greater empire that you stand in;

Fall, I shall not,
Suffer again,
You shall.

Concrete

I have had those “thoughts”,
And have tried to carry out those “thoughts”,
Those contemplations
And when I can’t see or hear, I am at rest,
When I can’t feel

Beauty divine
Peace sublime.

Concrete walls once grey,
Lathered in red dismay,
Glorified regrets,
Fruitful bets,
Silly little hopes
Locked up in your throat;

Another sodden chapter,
Another rotten ‘Happily Ever After’,
No consistency in the way you swagger,
Cheap talks, nothing’s all the matter.
For love me now, for love me then,
Tainted love, never again.

No windows, no doors,
Sticky hope for that call,
Someone or something,
Ready to break in.

Where AllPoetry?

Hello readers & bloggers!

It’s been an awful long time! Reason? Same old story, busy, busy, busy. But, today I have some news! My poetry is going to be moved to http://www.allpoetry.com [woot!]. I’ve just signed myself up and will be putting some of my pieces up there, and possibly write some new ones. But don’t worry, I’ll put any new pieces on wordpress too. If you’d like to pop over and have a gander at my [at the moment empty allpoetry page], then here’s the link: http://allpoetry.com/M._D._Winter.

I hope you’re all keeping yourselves well and fine, and being good to each other! Spring is upon us!

– Matty.