Chapter 1: A Paramour’s Rose


You’re as beautiful as a rose, but your thorns prick me,
The pain bleeds out like my tears and I’m blind to see
That this forbidden, this underhand cry
Would never last as more as you would to deny

What don’t you understand about this undying want?
I look at you, and know that I shan’t,
The piercing look that you throw at me to tell
That trying to tie this would cease us into a hell

I hate feeling like this, wanting what I crave for so much
Though I don’t have any special reason for to crunch
It’s pulling me into the depths, putting you into restraint
Trying to blank this out, erase it with the black paint
Hiding me away, in the shadow of your mind
But there’s more than just your restraint, what else can you find?
I may be wrong, but is there one side that wants you to explore this?
Find out what it’s like, to receive that silently wanted kiss

Are you that confused why you feel in such a way?
Is it the words that are spoken that linger through your mind each day?
You’re desperately holding on to the edge, pulling yourself away from the fall
Decode me that am I, the guilt and remorse that I feel more and all
Beautiful rose with oh-so-sharp thorns, do you decrypt me?
Do you wish sometimes that you could read me?
Look deep inside my eyes and use that power to tear me down?
Does it occur to you that I fear to be the clown?
Not again, though perhaps, sweet rose, again, what is it that stops you?
I truly understand you are belonging to someone else, true?
And also having one once loved, still roaming?
Is this what you bargained for after knowing?

I play the Casanova, contrasted as the paramour, he plays the lover
A mixed tape, he plays another
Place the scattered puzzle pieces that have spread together
And mend them now or never

The Casanova, a person known for his charm and displaying love
The paramour, a forbidden lover in a secret affair relationship of intimate love

A monster, like a vampire, I cannot resist such thing
The cry, the want, oh bear it, does it sting
Cursed, your words to break the spell I long to hear
To pull me out of this delirium, this disturbia
Please don’t fear, this isn’t what I want to be
Don’t brand me into the perfect enemy
I try so hard to keep myself controlled, just for you
It isn’t the wrong that you think you do
No, it’s the feeling that can never be changed
You must understand that you can be staged

Please, let me again, please let yourself go
Just again, let the eagerness of confusion know

I could see you were so tense
I can see that you know it doesn’t make sense
Your eyes are shutting so tight
And I’m already feeling guilt tonight

Oh sweet rose, just relax and close your eyes
The underhand suggests we make our lies
Let me kiss your lips so slightly and so gently
So that I will receive quite consequently
An undying feeling and guilt
That covers me like a large quilt
Neither from where I can’t escape nor struggle
The days of this, we start to juggle

Let me kiss your lips, and know you so well
Forgive me, in my mind this is to dwell
Let me hold your hand, and calm you down
Be my ocean, and let me drown
Drown in sweet guilt and beautiful regret

Beautiful rose, with your oh-so-sharp thorns
It is the other, which tends the echoing calls
But remember who I play
Until another day
That you must write back in reply
That I want to know your mind’s deny

I, the mutable air, and, you the mutable water, knows
That, you are a paramour’s rose

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