Chapter 3: Ashes from a Rosebush


Finally lost in the void of broken dreams
Watching memories playing and burning
We ask: what happened here – where did I go wrong?
Was it your fault? Or was it mine?
Do you think these wounds will heal over time?
I’ve cried over 5, 000 tears
There’s an ocean surrounding me
There’s no shore to swim to
Now that the water has turned black
What are your biggest fears?

It has been a while and my heart has decomposed
I’m so pale because I can’t find the light to cure me
I realize that you can’t trust anyone in this world
I realize that you lose what you keep the most first
Why do all the good things come to an end?

To pass the time, I begin to imagine what happiness is
Is it colours washed from the rainbow?
Is it when you celebrate something special?
Is it when you fall in love for the first time?
Where is it found? Please tell me someone
In the Heavens – in the depths of the ocean?
Does it linger in the shadows where I can never see?
Is it buried under the ground, waiting to sprout?
Or does it hide in some kind of chest?
If so, where is the key hidden?

All this imagination has upset me because I know I can’t find it
That no one can answer these questions

So I take a chance to walk on water
Into a far place for days and nights
I walk head down and feeling numb
By streetlight does the darkness linger
I sit on a bench as the rain falls
Each drop in a symphony of sound
Thunder and lighting echoing from near to far
It‘s so cold, but I don’t care
I can’t feel anything from head to toe
Am I dead or am I just a ghost?
I just really don’t know anymore

Sitting for hours, the world doesn’t seem to have moved
I’m all soaked and freezing, only the faint streetlight keeps me awake
My shadow is the only company beside me

Slowly I shut my eyes to sleep, right in a deep comatose
Giving up ever wake or walk
Because you let me down
But as I start to pass away
But as I begin to slip away
Someone calls my name
Or did the wind just mock me?
I hear the call again, so I open my eyes
This blurry figure stands before me, and sits next to me
I regain my focus and almost die
Suffocating under words of pain and sorrow
Is it really an angel on earth?

Reach out your hand and place it against mine
Oh, the sweet warmth from your palm soothes me
Who are you, and how did you find me?
But then as the rain cleared, it was just you…

My sweet rose, how did you get here?
You look as broken as I do
How did we get here?

We look at each other in the eyes
And both ask: what happened to us?
I lost one, and tried for you – then you tell me you were hurting inside
I explain: it was destroying you and I
You lips shake and the tears fall
I lost the one I wanted, and ended up just like you – you weep
Now you know, what it’s like to be me…
to pretend every time and to crave what you want the most

You say that you’re sorry and wrap yourself around me
You’re so warm, my heart begins to beat
Words can’t explain – who, what, when, how and why?
You cry heavily, broken and desperately crave to be restored
You’re not alone, as I hold you back

You look back at me with tears in your eyes
I wipe them away gently

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