Chapter 10: Heavy Rain


Note: there are two narrative voices in this poem, just be aware if you get confused!

It’s as if you’re masked, hiding what you want.
It’s as if you’re pulling me along, and I see that clearly.
Your brilliant hues from the bloodshot eyes, you’re ready to leave.

Your magnificence is nothing but a mere light in a dark room.
Your words of intelligence and wit prove to me that you’re no fool.
Your heart beats with such splendour, you’re not a petty believer living in fairytales.

Can anyone match up to you with such knowledge? I don’t think so.
Over the time we’ve known each other, will it be obvious anymore?
Rectify the wrongs with your brilliant mind, and forbid the curse.
Render the lies into truths, unravel excuses I’ve spat out to you
Incinerate the memories that we shared, and,
Eventually, I’m no longer in the life you still live now.

Indeed, I have proven you false hope,
Maybe some false hope, I do admit.

Suppose this is the end line, where the train stops.
Opened beginnings are now closed endings that were never meant to be.
Remember the memories and how they felt, because now they’re dying slowly.
Remember, remember, and now forget and erase me from your sweet memory.
You stand before me, and you rip me down into the perfect fiend that once held you.

For you, and all else to those I’ve done this to, don’t forgive me, don’t remember me.
Overtime, I’ll just be a scar that will heal and vanish like it was never there.
Remembering when you look at a faint mark, you won’t remember where it came from.

Every single being who will come across this, hear this message, hear this warning,
Verify this message, this warning, and let them know, let those know, let them know
Exactly what this message is – decode the very beginning of this and you will notice it.
Roll over to the next chronicle; this chapter has its prolonging ending.
You and only you know –
Think when I lay down this sharp edge of cunning and lies in the hard skin of existance
He who will fall into the ashes from the broken and damned
I will feel that fate and get what I deserve.
Note this torment I’ve brought upon you, you didn’t deserve,
Gather the last tears that I have because I know that we’re both blind to what we say.

You still didn’t believe what I said, and I did what I did
Yet you still didn’t take the time to.
Now the agony boils in your veins as well as my guilt and regret.

I am your knife, I am your personal disease
And I will hurt you, I will play you
Because you, the perfect being know how to break this monster that I am down
Mercifulness does not shine in my heart, it’s dark, it’s tormented
And I infected you with that torment, I broke you down
I broke you down to the numbness that spread all over you
And I held you; I held you once and asked for forgiveness.

I see you twist and turn, and then stand still in outrage
Your bright burning hues which burn into my deep torment
Here comes the choking sensation in your throat
Here, here monster, let me put you out of your misery
Let me strangle you like ropes of your own taste of pain.
Feel your perfect poison spray from your out bursting breaths.
Shall I squeeze tighter and tighter until you die?
The cost of your life is nothing to me, you monster.
Squeeze hard and harder, I beg you to.
See my face turn purple in your wrath?
In your agony I’ve brought upon you
Now feel it to you wretched monster, feel it in your whimpering breaths.
This is where I rip you down into the very core, rip you down like you played me.
Here, here, feel it you bastard, you deadly poison, die.
Get out of my head, get out of my life
Don’t talk to me, don’t remember me, forget me
I’m your little game that’s turned against you
Don’t you ever come back.

Now I die slowly, away from you, your grasp around my neck loosen
The paining noose around my neck, branding my neck with your mark.
Scratch my eyes out, leave me bloody like they did.
I’m on my knees, butcher me, kill me, finish me,
Give me no mercy what-so-ever

Because in the end, I never really did come back to say I was sorry.
Because I never really meant ‘I love you’
Because you were right, I never gave a damn about you

Here I lay in the pool of my own misery and torment, which I’ve brought upon you
And you walk away with the last tear falling down your cheek, and quickly drying.

You never really cared; you played me like a game
I was never first, nor should I be your second best
Forget me, leave me, I don’t want you to ever come back.

Because what I wanted, never really mattered to you
Because what I really meant, looked like a lie to you

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