Chapter 11: Dear Fading Memory


Dear Fading Memory,

I write this to you, so that it can be locked in the void of my mind,
This is our final goodbye, our farewell, the last of sorrow and pain.
I know you won’t look back and read this, so just think of it as an old photograph,
Where we can look back and refer to the better memories, the beauty,
Yet, I won’t dwell on the negative, but maybe the positive;

You gave me extraordinary strength to fight battles I couldn’t,
You taught me wit and knowledge that I never dreamed of knowing,
You taught me how to understand reality in times where the heart is lost,
You taught me that when stumbling upon a forked path, I’d have to be swift in decisions;
Ones that involve mind over heart, heart over mind; flashbacks to reflect,
Then finally, pick the next journey that lies ahead.

I remember you listing every single song you could for each artist
that was thrown at you for a challenge,
It showed your love of music, your determination and dedication,
The queen of music… How I’d remember you,
How I’d never forget you.

Everyday, I find myself looking over my shoulder to see if you’re there,
But while I walk further away, your silhouette fades,
Disappearing out of sight.
Though I’m unable to see certain things, I can catch your glistened eyes,
Sparkling in their vibrant hues before they’re dried for the last time.

Though I’ve tried, ‘sorry’ wouldn’t satisfy you,
It was never good enough because you saw more in me, and you needed that little more.
‘You or her’, a dead end, mind over heart decision; you were telling me something,
Or so I thought you were.
Maybe you were putting me into that forked road,
Showing that I couldn’t have two things at once, or have it both ways,
Maybe that’s why you strayed from me back then.
Either way, I choose not to know.

I still grieve at the fact that we can’t be friends anymore,
Knowing what happened between us, what we spoke of,
It’s left a crater in my life;
Those painful words I placed upon you – you shot right back at me,
I felt it… deeply.

I cried the day we went into battle; heartbreaking.
I look back at the poem I wrote,
Words I painted from my own interpretation,
Things I meant towards the end,
They were reversed…
Those lines were made to look like that,
To imply what you were portraying me as,
I wrote them especially to prove to you
That in blindness, we both don’t see enough.

I do care for you; I always will, cherished in memory,
There, you will stay,
Fading memory.

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