Chapter 13: The Letter


Dear Lover,

 

I write to you with the knowledge of my actions

When I did what I did

But still torture myself wıth fractions

Of our long trip.

 

I write to say I know I hurt you

Knowing what I did.

But still wtihout you

I don’t think I can live.

 

You’re the only one

That I will still ever love.

You were the shoulder to lean on

When things got rough.

You were the voice of reason

When others were screaming.

You were the hand that picked me up

When I fell and put blood on my hands and knees

 

I know the times it was foolish and stupid

One huge mistake after the other.

To ask for forgiveness

Would not uncover

The truth and lies among witnesses.

 

I cry myself to sleep at night

Knowing that I shouldn’t

I should move on

But I can’t.

 

I starve myself now

To feed the hunger for you.

Only the devil’s water fills

Me just as well

To haze over our better memories.

 

After the final cheat argument

I realised

Just how much you meant to me.

And still now and then

The tears still roll hot from my eyes.

 

I wanted to show you I’d come clean

Desperate for that future

I know that now, it isn’t what it seems

But thus, the sufferıng rapture

Endures within me.

 

Summer has come to an end

Like a closed book

And though you moved on straight away

Impatient for my arrival

I have no right to fight and say.

 

I will never move on

And to never think

We are done.

 

I was so scared to tell you

I thought that I would lose you.

I highly doubted it

But it came true.

 

However, that final chance for your worry

If I could go back

I’d admıt to the felony

And so then, maybe you’d see that I have changed

Now I linger for that moment to work things out

To rebuild the cracked foundations in our lives

But I cant stop to think that it’s now over

And to think then, the venom will never sober.

 

You really were different

And that’s what I liked.

So innocent, and I abused that

Never will I let thıs heart and mınd

Ever let another come to find.

 

You were the most precious

Person in my life.

And maybe if I never did that

We’d still be doing alright.

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