The last couple of days have been rather strange and somewhat unnerving. The family member who underwent an operation to slow the process of cancer spreading has been good. They are that positive, it is like they were never diagnosed with terminal cancer. However, Matt’s status has changed since he was feeling a ‘little better’.

I wrote in ‘Better’ that Matt was obviously showing signs of progress, but the last couple of days, he has changed drastically. I guess you could say that he is back in square one, but who knows, maybe amongst the pandemonium, it could be seen as progress?

But anyway, Matt is really disorientated – I’m not sure if that’s from both the car accident and cancer news, or just one of the elements – but it is weighing on him quite a lot, and it worries me. I talk to him, because company is what he needs. Sometimes he listens to me, sometimes he doesn’t, as if he has placed himself elsewhere. But sub-consciously, he has listened, because I quiz him afterwards.

Matt doesn’t like hospitals, he thinks they’re the worst place to put a sick person in. Hospitals are in fact noisy despite being a place of medicine and health. Matt would like to be checked out, but doctors say he can’t be released until the all clear. On the quiet, the doctor told me that he may have to be put on a 3 month therapy programme, because they’re worried that the aftermath of the trauma will worsen and delay full recovery.

Good news is that he is just full of ideas for new poetry, but worries he won’t remember it the next day. So I told him to pick an object and put each idea into it. Seems strange, doesn’t it? But believe me, you’ll remember something when you look at an object. Tomorrow I’ll find out if Matt remembers them – if he will co-operate with socialising with his little sister lol.

The bad news is that, when the time does come in 6 months time, I’m a little worried he’ll let go again. Maybe in the 6 months we have with the family, Matt could train himself to shield some sense and not let go. We’ll see.

– Natasha


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