Bedlam – Pun Intended


Hello bloggers and viewers,

My, it has been a while. I do apologise for my lack of effort during this time and age, I sincerely do. My excuse this time is the same as the last: irregular sleeping patterns and early fatigue. I’m considering going to doctor to enquire about this. It could be serious – it could not. Over the last few days, myself, family and my girlfriend have tried mapping out what the possibilities could be; my medication may be contributing to this irritable problem. If that is the case, then I will have to make do with it. We can’t think of anything else at the moment. I’ve tried sleeping early – I sleep throughout the night and wake up at perfect hours in the morning, yet I am still tired. Diet is completely fine: I eat healthy, I go for walks [because that’s all that I can manage – heavy exercise would surely shatter that careful construction in me]… I do what I can. But nothing is working. The unfortunate thing about not being able to sleep, is that the lack of sleep makes us grumpy. And I can tell you, the dark cloud is dawning over me. I’ve harnessed it – outburst percentage remains low – which is good. But I’m quite intimidating when I’m grumpy, and somewhat longing for just a little cuddle with my beautiful significant other [but she knows I want more love than a cuddle – company anyway]. It seems clingy of me, but I want her love, and I know she will happily take my love in exchange for that. I love her. She knows that, and knows that I would give a bone and limb for her.

Ah, as I write this, I’m already tired and wanting to sleep. But I know that I’ll wake up tomorrow, tired still. Am I overtired? Yes, perhaps. So why are my early nights not cashing in the energy that I crave? It’s monotonous. It’s spoiling everything around me, and I feel guilty. I’m letting you guys down – promising you loads of new poetry that is still unfinished or beyond the drafting stage. I apologise, it’s sincere. I want to write, I want to get back into it, but my fatigue pulls the strings sharply and I collapse, knackered and uninspired.

Matt

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