Return of the Blog

Hello bloggers and readers,

It’s been quite a long time since I last wrote to you, and I do apologise for that. You’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been – or that some of you have never really been that bothered about my whereabouts. Nevertheless, here I am, dedicating my day off to write to you about my latest adventures in my exciting life.

Firstly, before I actually pour the really lame ‘excuses’ for my lack of blogging, I want to let you guys know what’s been going down in the last couple of months. As you know, I had a very close and dear family member of mine fall with re-occurring cancer, and has unfortunately passed away over Christmas time. As for anyone who’s lost someone close, it’s hard, very hard to even be motivated to write something, let alone do anything. But aside from this, I’ve been working really hard at work and university too, as well as catching up on all the games I missed out on when my laptop was rugged and rigid; now a hulking graphics machine with many steroids pumped into it. I can’t say that the last few excuses were valid ones, but that’s the muck and rust from my hands and knees.

Another thing that’s really bogged me down is my poetry. I have nothing left in me to write. I truly feel like a part of me has been bled dry and has evaporated out of existence. It’s heartbreaking, really, because I love writing poetry and songs, but these last 7 months have just torn me down. I don’t feel physically torn down, but my love for writing poetry has, and I have no idea how to overcome it. I try and write something, it just comes out wrong. The lines don’t flow, the rhymes and words are mediocre and bleak. I don’t feel the colour and sound of the words. I lack motivation, I lack imagination… I need that spark at the end of my fingertips. But it’s not there. I’ve waited and waited to see if it was simply a writer’s block, but it feels a lot deeper than just a writer’s block. I’ve tried to leave it alone, to see if I had been pushing too hard, but it isn’t that either. I suppose that I’m just no longer inspired… In other terms: lazy.

I wrote about love like any other reckless poet would. I wrote about loss and happiness. I wrote so well years ago… It’s all gone. I know it’s there, I can still feel it, but when I try and look for it, it isn’t. A bit like a phantom limb. Is there a way out of this? Is there a solution? I’d like to know and get answers.

I think I need poetic rehabilitation.

Apart from me, what about you lot? How are you? How’s life? How’s the New Year treating you? Valentines Day is just around the corner! Anyone got a special someone, or a fancy you’d like to reel in? I’ve got something nice and sweet planned for my valentines, haha. I promised her not to get anything flashy…

It’s a day of lovin’ and snugglin’… and other things, but I think I’m going with the sweet and simple approach this year, because every other day is the same lovin’ and snugglin’, this day will be a little bit more romantic and appreciative… well a bit more appreciative. I don’t know, because my significant other and I are always loved up, so… what makes Valentines Day so special?

I have a favourite rant about Valentines Day with Foamy Squirrel, where Germaine rants about how the special occasion is rather a more insincere act of male opportunity…

It’s partially true. Well, I do generally think that some ladies out there feel like that Valentines Day is a day for ‘things’, when it should really be about appreciating your loved one [insert cute smiley here].

I’m just stabbing in the dark here, I’m pretty overwhelmed and tired from work today. Let me get back to real stuff in the next few posts.

– Matt


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