Concrete

I have had those “thoughts”,
And have tried to carry out those “thoughts”,
Those contemplations
And when I can’t see or hear, I am at rest,
When I can’t feel

Beauty divine
Peace sublime.

Concrete walls once grey,
Lathered in red dismay,
Glorified regrets,
Fruitful bets,
Silly little hopes
Locked up in your throat;

Another sodden chapter,
Another rotten ‘Happily Ever After’,
No consistency in the way you swagger,
Cheap talks, nothing’s all the matter.
For love me now, for love me then,
Tainted love, never again.

No windows, no doors,
Sticky hope for that call,
Someone or something,
Ready to break in.

Empty Space

A space left so far in between,
Yet too thin for a murmur of air to escape,
Beyond the emptiness lay transcripts of a thief,
Even deeper, lay the petals of a wilted red rose;
Innocence torn,
Beauty supressed;

Stolen and given,
A flurry of bargain,
A muster of flesh in the lake of silk,
End was nigh,
And so as little you and I.

Reign

Speak no further, she said,
No man like you lives so passionately,
And if one does so, be he a mindless fool,
A hethan, no valiant than the birds that prey
Upon him.

If a man like you
Can build an empire with just words,
Then surely he can tear it straight down too?

But of course, her words lingered,
Lingered in the air between them,
A blur nothing that unhinged his iron focus,
For he questioned,
No, yearned for his trust to
Answer a forever-haunting echo,
His love, his heart,
Oh, did he yonder!

While his heart did roar like a broken engine,
His hands shook with eagerness,
Pining for his so-eager neck.

His savvy heart got the best of him,
He knew,
Well of course, she knew,
Within that period locked between them
He knew that there was something,
Surely?

A fort-night ago,
Tender nights entertained summer’s bliss,
Clear midnight-skies filled the atmosphere,
An array of stars speckled the sky,
Lovers shared these endless nights,
Swimming together in the vast
Oceans of sheets,
While the wind carried their blossoming sighs.

Love, my dear sweet love, he pined
In their sultry vendetta,
Fill me with your grace,
Your love,
Your everything,
I need
And I want,
A wave of euphoria  lathered them
For the last time.

He realised it.
He saw it glisten in her eyes,
He watched it crawl beneath her skin,
Had it not been any sooner, he would have
Fought this war with nothing but his own bare hands,
Oh, but he was a sodding fool.

He spat fire,
While she threw the embers into his eyes,
The empire hand fallen,
Their paradise,
Nothing but a ruin between them,
Crumbled, broken, littered,
Where had the fire gone that powered
This beautiful paradise?

Say no more, he said,
There are things far better left unsaid,
Unspoken promises should be left veiled,
The time between and around us,
Has bled all energy out left to fight,
May a messenger keep us by a thread,
But lest we not forget where our hearts lie,
For the future will guide us to paradise,
And rebuild the empire we once had.

Plotless Future

Struck by the dazzling silent calamity,
Those fragile frames shudder with glee;
Those hollowed contours compliment the frames
As they structure the perfect geometric lines.
Some yellow colours empty paper-white patches
Here and there.

From hearty auras to empty tundras,
The sick smock stitches itself tight
Into weak minds, letting the tasteless
Breeze fill crumbling lungs
And irritate those watery globes.

Loiter about, a zombie in a human diguise
Groans weak reminders about the time:
A quater-past-half-so-near.

Rack the frames,
Tell that man in the corner to shut up,
Guide him out and let the weather be
As lousy as his writing
To save the world
As his nature withdraws
Into the bleary crowd.

A Promise

May our love bloom,
And our souls live for all eternity;
May our kisses, embraces and sweet nothings
Build the very future we hope to live together.

For only you, yes, you, my love,
Can define this feeling,
This uncanny passion
That I endure for you;

My heart beats
At least a million times or more
Whenever you cross my mind –
I honestly cannot tell,
It just beats constantly for you.

Whatever it is, you surely do make
Me believe that there is at least
Someone out there in this world
That loves me for my past and present;
Every little inch of me, you have accepted (and vice versa)

However, let me promise you that:
Wherever we shall go; far and beyond,
Whatever happens to one another,
(Especially me),
I shall return to you, all in one piece,
No matter what state I’m in.

Happy

To my last lover,
Here, I write you
A letter, asking whether
You’re satisfied, well and
Happy now.

I want to believe you are,
But at the same time,
I also find satisfaction in knowing
You’re hurt, like me.

It seems sinister,
Or somewhat, rather sickening –
But lower the barrel, and listen;
You presented me promises
With hope you would protect my
Fragile tatty heart,
But little did I know that
You vowed you would never fall
For someone as peculiar as I.

This knowledge was brought to me
During our feud, our passionate vendetta,
My nightmare, my fall;
You felt it was justified and right,
Yet, you grieved.

You begged for me,
You needed me,
But what I presented
In our distanced romance.

Still, still it was not good enough.

It was deemed unnecessary,
Deemed nothing,
Deemed worthless,
Deemed pathetic.

You said it was your fault too;
They all say that.

“It’s not just you, it’s me”.

Lower your barrel once more,
There is no need to get violent with me.

You couldn’t do this anymore,
You told me.

Then you brought in her.

She waited, sacrificed her desires
So that she could see me happy,
But swore against
Those who tore me down.

She hated it.
Yet she waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And finally,
She didn’t need to anymore.

If you loved me the way you
Claimed, would you have
Tried to wait any longer?
Would you have matched your
Predecessor?

No, you wouldn’t have.

This December,
I will haunt you in the light,
I will haunt you in the dark,
I will be there.

Rest assured, though:
I am not perfect,
Nor the perfect lover,
Nor the perfect friend;
But I am a fighter
And a lover.

My heart is my shield,
My mind is my sword.

You broke my shield,
But I smote through your chains.

I had to exorcise you from me,
You were the poison in my veins,
You were the headaches,
You were the heartaches,
I cleansed you from me.

I wanted to hurt you
In the least possible way.

I was cold.

So I ask you this:
Are you happy now?

Home

Home is everywhere,
Home is here,
Home is there,
Home is me,
Home is you.

Home is safe,
Home is shelter,
Home is warmth,
Home is security,
Home is family.

Home is broken,
Home is hostile,
Home is dangerous.

Home is lost,
Home is lonely,
Home is broken,
Home is empty,
Home is gone.

Home is without you,
Home is without me,
Home is without family,
Home is without hope,
Home is without faith,
Home is without trust,
Home is without love.

Home is now,
Home is next,
Home was then,
Home was there.

Home was us,
Home was you,
Home was me.

Home has gone.

So let’s build it together again,
As one.